The New World
Bill Pullman was terrible in that intro scene.
I thought I was done with Russell T. Davies’ obsession with talking head news reports. This season and one more season of Sarah Jane and then no more Davies.
Why is his lawyer not having this discussion with the guy from the Governor’s office? It’s a trap, Gwen.
Running away from Jack is always a good idea.
That’s a shitty doctor who wants to cut off someone’s head.
I don’t think the CIA can extradite Torchwood.
Rendition
Why the hell are Cardiff police helping?
So is he going to heal?
Wayne Knight is in this?
This CIA agent is terrible.
“We’re doing this wrong!” So she thinks they need to clear beds so they can ignore the serious cases, but that’s dumb because they’re in excruciating pain.
Is Bill Pullman a good actor? I didn’t think he was this bad.
It’s what’s her name from Psycho Beach Party!
This is such a ridiculous story.
The backwards head looks terrible.
Dead of Night
Why is Bill Pullman doing a Captain Kirk.
Why is he so mean to Officer Don?
Haha, Americans and British people are different.
That doctor is seriously violating her ethical standards by having sex with her patient.
Escape to L.A.
What is wrong with the world for turning Bill Pullman’s character into a celebrity and caring what he has to say?
More newscasters.
Rex and the doctor’s relationship is disgusting.
How is Rex still bleeding and making more blood? Does he have an infinite supply?
Those iPhones are so old.
People don’t leave a building when a fire alarm goes off.
The Categories of Life
“They just took control over life and death.” What does that mean?
Juarez is the name of the doctor.
Wait, you’re going back to Andy after he got you arrested by the CIA.
My partner has a theory that Andy is the only cop in Cardiff and that’s why he was so cranky when she quit, because before that there were two cops in Cardiff.
“Welcome to Torchwood.” “I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.” Oh, it’s bad, everyone in Torchwood dies.
These people are still conscious and yet they just shut the lights?
Well, Juarez is gonna die, or at least just bleed an infinite amount of blood.
Why the fuck is the soldier helping her?
I wish Rick Moranis was in this. He and Bill Pullman were great together.
They’re acting like this speech that Pullman is giving is moving or motivational. It isn’t.
The Middle Men
It’s Winston Zeddemore!
Good thing she just knew where the generator room is.
“You killed her!” “I’m sorry, it’s just been such a long day.”
Are there not patients in there? What the difference between them using the crematoriums and her blowing up the crematoriums. I guess single use is better than multi-use.
Immortal Sins
So did Jack give Angelo a visa to the United States because he had a boner for the guy?
This is a bit of a gross relationship between Angelo and Jack. Angelo is in Jack’s debt, it’s gross.
Jack casually thinking that Angelo sleeping with a schoolmaster is so gross and disgusting. I sometimes really hate this show. Davies’ writing is so bad and his understand of consent seems to be suspect.
I don’t care about this Jack in the ’20s story, yet it’s 90% of this episode.
Angelo, maybe don’t run, they’re willing to shoot Jack down for very little provocation, maybe you shouldn’t run. Also, run. Run for your life.
Colonel Kira!
So if Angelo is waiting for Jack… why did they go through this whole thing of kidnapping Gwen’s family. Just go and visit Jack and tell him. That was the stupidest episode I have ever seem before and I agree with the above gif, “Jesus fuck!”
End of the Road
“There’s no one with those names.” She finished her sentence. Why did you think something was wrong.
It’s Q!
You blew up Colonel Kira! Newman!
The Gathering
You can’t die from cigarettes in this world of no death, but you can indeed get cancer, and that would SUUUUUCK!
Everything is coming to a head, and none of it makes sense.
The Blood Line
The bead of blood rolling toward the Blessing is such bad effects.
They’re using “vine technology.”
Why are they and why is Andy still talking to one another.
Well that was handy that CIA lady got off the truck.
You can’t kill someone who is omnipotent.
Is Rex now Jack level immortal?
Oh, he is.
Web of Lies
Aww, they mentioned Tosh.
They really cheaped out on the animation, and it shows.
The design of the animation is also really bad.
HAHAHAHAHA! “Oh my god, he actually programmed this thing to self-destruct.” The dialogue is so bad.
Well, that’s the end of Torchwood. I’m not sad. It was overdue.